If you read my last blog post, you know that I think context is everything. As dating is, it was a lot of fun tinkering on dating apps, texting boys, going on dates, and occasionally getting into relationships. For about two years, I would say that I was, not obsessed, but like, one notch under obsessed when it came to dating. Check that episode out here: www.
If you need to take a break from dating, you'll notice these 4 things about yourself
I felt that I needed to have someone always texting me, as, during my mundane day-to-day, it gave me happiness and excitement to see my phone light up and know that someone was thinking about me. I felt that I needed to have a weekly date with a guy, as it gave me something to look forward to during my unhappy work week.
Ew, see my emphasis on need? I needed boys for happiness, excitement, distraction, self-esteem, and validation.
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If you give someone other than yourself the power to be the source of all this goodness in your life, then you are also giving someone other than yourself the power to take all this goodness out of your life. I, instead, vowed to take a break from dating to work on myself and to make sure that my goodness was not coming from boys, but from me.
At first, it was hard. But, I knew that shitty feeling was necessary to experience if I wanted to shift my source of happiness and self-esteem from outside forces to inside ones, essentially giving myself the power to be a more secure and complete person on my own. In the media, the single girl is always portrayed as bitter and unhappy ughs, that needs to changeand for me, maybe that was the case at first.
But now, I can tell you that is not even remotely the situation at all. This past year of being on my own has been one of the most pivotal in my life. But, I do think that shifting my focus from being on boys to being on myself has been a huge contributor to the positive impact of this monumental year in my life.
I did have occasional vacations and random events with friends and family that, of course, I always enjoyed. But, personally, I want to look forward to more than just weekends and my two weeks of vacation time. I want to have something that excites me on a daily basis.
I started a podcast. I got a lot better at snowboarding.
Without this distraction during my dating hiatus, though, it became very apparent to me just how unhappy I was at work. And so, rather than trying to divert my attention away from this issue, I took time to figure out how to actually address it.
I knew my work contract was coming to an end, and rather than defaulting in to taking another job, I planned a work break. For me, as I mentioned, anytime I went through one, I needed to get over that suckyness by finding someone new to prove to myself and to the former flame that I am still worthy of care and attention.
If you consistently need someone else to prove something to you, though, do you really believe it yourself? If you need someone else to boost your self-esteem, do you actually have self -esteem?
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The only person you are guaranteed to be with forever is yourself. But we often fail to recognize that our longest and most important relationship will be with ourselves. Being someone who makes you happy is more important than finding someone who makes you happy. We should really switch the narrative that we tell kids about finding our partners.
Like, more Moanaless Cinderellaya feel? Your longest and most important relationship is the one with yourself—so you better treat it accordingly! If you like this blog, subscribe at the bottom to get an whenever I have a new post, and follow me on social for more content LearnWithLels on Instagram and KaitlinJingco on LinkedIn and Twitter.
Blog Podcast About Connect. When it comes to dating, I am doing the opposite of what every other person in their late twenties seems to be doing.
When is it time to hit pause and regroup?
My late-blooming ass started dating when I was Kaitlin Jingco July 14, 2 Comments. Facebook 0 Twitter Pinterest 0 0 Likes. Kaitlin Jingco July 28, Kaitlin Jingco July 2,